It has been a number of months (mercifully a number of months) since our last top 5 list of bizarre, strange, wtf, sex toys, and it's been too long and the fucked up pleasure devices have risen up demanding to return to Peeperz and fearful for my life I've complied. Take a gander below and let us know in the comments if you have any suggestions for future entries.
5. The Perfect Girlfriend Blow Up Doll
She's the world's best girlfriend because you can stick a beer in the top of her head to drink from while you facefuck her! This sex toy isn't really bizarre as it sad, I picture dudes crying silent tears while sipping their warm Bud from the head cavity all while getting their dicks sucked by this doll's balloon like mouth.
4. Talking Dildo
This looks like a standard rabbit style vibrator, but it gets on the list because it talks. Specifically it rattles off really cheesy dirty talk for about 3 minutes AND THEN IT CUMS. I mean isn't one of the joys of a dildo for women is that it doesn't orgasm after 3 minutes of fuck? Amirite ladies??
This product would be a lot hotter if it played recordings of me reading Peeperz posts as you stuff this dong in your pussy. Alas it's preprogrammed with much less sexy sounds, Check out smooth sexy whispers in the vid below:
3. Little Death Ray Steam Punk Dildo
A virgin forever but at least you have a raygun vibrator to stuff in your cunt. Forever alone.
2. Handjob Machine
This winning handjob machine is only $500 bucks. When it tears off your dick it's probably less embarrassing to invent a story about losing your penis to a hooker who bit it off.
1. Gerbil Flex Anal Stimulator
Tired of all those gerbils dying up there after you stick 'em up your ass for sexual thrills? I know you are, I know you're damn tired of that!!! Save some money on your gerbil bills and get this gerbil shaped anal stimulator….almost as good as the real thing….almost…
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